A few nights ago I went to bed heartbroken , I’d like to rephrase and say that I’m not sure if it even existed…. my heart I mean. I know i exist , I know this because you as an electronic device would never be capable of the emotions and reasoning like the kind your about to read.Yes i felt my heart didn’t exist….I sat in the shower for over an hour and cried my heart out because of recent choices I’ve made that may not have been in my best interest and because of the uneasy person I was becoming… I cried it out and then when I was done I placed my palm on my chest to feel a beat , to feel alive or maybe to just feel…. and all I could feel was the water from the shower head…. tap the back of my hand ever so lightly. I’m convinced I’ve cried my heart out and it exists no more but I contemplate it will grow and beat again as i grow stronger. I then asked myself how I could grow stronger ? Well I now know which mistakes needed to be corrected ,I know which paths have to be rerouted and I know the person I thought I could be can only be better. I know better… And someone once told me when you know better , you do better ! That’s what I intend to do and that’s what I intend to be . Better , than I was yesterday but not better than I can be tomorrow.
So my advice to the ones in doubt is…. If something doesn’t sit right with you…stand up , make a firm decision and stick by it.
My advice to the heartbroken is that it will eventually mend , it will be a +1 to your list of experiences and it will never break you or be the death of you…but it will make you !

2 Nights later i went to bed and heard the thumping of my heart , scared as it seemed . It was there and sometimes that’s all the glimmer of hope you need !

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3 thoughts on “Being better

  1. hope all is well now 🙂

  2. *hugs* i know that feeling too 🙂

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